REMINDER

LIZARD LICK ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST, FULL GOSPEL INDEPENDENT, PENTOCOSTAL,

CHURCH OF CHRIST

 

REMINDER

 

Beloved, this here is your preacher, the Rev. T.J. Jackson, reminding yeuns that tomorrow is Sunday and we do have services. I know things have been must up the last few Sundays as erebody got their clocks set right on the endin of the daylight saving. I know the first Sunday I set my clock up instead of back and got here two hours early. I noticed the parking lot was totally empty. Beloved, I thought all that rapture stuff was true and I had been left behind. Well, worried to death I got Mrs. Dixie and we road all the way down to Hocutts Crossroads and saw that the Methodist Church parking lot was also empty, so I knew that it weren’t no rapture of the church. Anyway, we’ve got all that time stuff worked out now.

 

And, while still on the subject of time. I have noticed that some of you that stay awake on Sunday mornings are always a looking at your watches as the time gets closer to 12 o’clock. Now, OI know what the problem is. Y’all’s all worried up that if I preach a minute overtime the Baptist is going to get the best seats at the Cracker Barrel. You might think you are fooling some folks but me and Jesus get your number. So hang in there brethren, you are aiming for the best seats on Judgment day.

 

One last closing thought for you. The other day I mentioned the Marines not giving out those talking Jesus dolls. Well beloved, the have reconsidered and are willing to give the Jesus dolls away. Brethren, this is WRONG! These Jesus dolls ain’t nothing but blasphemy. They violate the second commandment. Beloved, this is a graven image. I know you are saying, “Preacher, this is a hot item.” Well maybe, but let me tell you what else is hot: HELL IS HOT! The marines are fixin to send tons of youth to hell for playing with a graven image. Even the Mineralites up in Pennsylvania don’t even have faces on their dolls. Beloved we can’t take part of this. We have to take back our youth. Beloved it is time we have to join forces against the US of A Marines! We have to take Christ out of Christmas before all our children are on that well beaten path to Hell.

 

For this reason, tomorrow morning we will have a special sermon entitled “Save our youth, Take Christ out of Christmas.” That’s right brothers. The U S of A marines are trying to lead our youth to Hell. As soon as this happens their next will be to secretly introduce the gay and Lebanese agenda secretly to our youth. This years it Jesus dolls, next year it will be Ellen the Degenerate Dolls and Rosa O’ MacDonald dolls. Come early tomorrow to get a good seat. Asked everyone in your neighborhood to not take any of these Satanic gifts from the Marines and email the head Punjab in Iraq and asked that none of their Iraq soldiers get hit by a marine bullet. Beloved, it’s for the youth of this nation. It is for Lizard Lick. If this goes through as planned, the next thing you know they will be putting up a section of Lizard Lick called the Fidel just like they have out in San Firisco

Beloved, stamp Christ out of Christmas for the sake of our youths’ souls.

Until, tomorrow, this is your preacher, The Rev. T.J. Jackson, reminding yeuns to be better to your neighbors and you’ll have better neighbors.