Special Prayer Meeting Called

LIZARD LICK ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST, FULL GOSPEL, INDEPENDENT, PENTECOSTAL, cHURCH OF CHRIST

 

Beloved, this is your preacher, the Reverend T.J. Jackson of the Lizard Lick St. John the Baptist, Full Gospel, Independent, Pentecostal, church of Christ, here and I want to share a few thoughts with you. First I want to thank all who came out to the Bible Study tonight. I think we finally put to rest the questions of why women are to remain silent in the assembly of the saints. Brethren, you see it is not me, the Rev. T.J. Jackson, but it is a command from God. God said we are to SPEAK to each other in Psalms and The apostle Paul goes on to say it is forbidden for a woman to speak in the assembly. Now, I think all understand why we don’t allow woman to make sounds in the Lizard Lick, Full Gospel, Independent, Pentecostal, church of Christ. When it comes to making noises in church the church mouse has more privileges than a woman as we have no command concerning the church mouse, only women. I think tonight we finally put this matter to rest and I don’t think we will have to deal again with women talking or singing.

Brothers and sisters a matter of most urgency has come to the attention of your truly. It seems that the Marines of these Newnited States have made a big err in their judgment concerning their “Toys for Tots” program this Christmas. Beloved, some people had donated talking Jesus dolls to give to the kids. And, Gomer and Sgt. Carter have decided that they can’t give these to the tots. They are afeared that some poor Jew or some poor Muslim kid might get one. Pray tell what would happen if poor little Itzak or poor little Barak heard a talking Jesus doll say, “I am the Way the Truth and the Life.” Brethren, the last time I checked Jesus himself was a Jew; I read his genealogy: there is a copy of it in the God breathed King James Bible. The marines are worried more about pandering to Obama BinLaden and Sudden Hussien than they are the welfare of the poor kids of the America. Last I remembered we were one nation under God, not one nation under nation under Pot Belly Buddha or Mohamed Ali. Beloved they are using your hard earned tax money to defend these kids from the tyrants and then leaving their souls to burn. I know you are thinking, “Well preacher, they did a hot job on the shores of Tripoli.” Well I tell you what else is hot: HELL IS HOT! And, that’s where the marines are fixing to send all these kids as well as theirselves. The King James Bible says woe to him that causes one of these younguns to stumble, and brethren that’s exactly what Duke Slater and Gomer and Sgt. Carter are doing. They are stumbling the kids to Hell.

 

For this reason on Friday night we will have a special prayer meeting entitled, “Praying the Marines and the Kids out of Hell.” Friday afternoon we will take the cook stove out of Elder Johnson’s house so we can use it for an assembly.

 

I want to also ask yeuns who do Christmas shopping at Wal-Mart to shop elsewhere. It seems the good people at Wally world are donating part of your hard earned God fearing money to the Homersexual agenda. That’s right brothers. Your hard earned money will go to buy wedding rings for Lance Banks and that Lost Guy of hisn. Brothers if we don’t nip this in the bud we aren’t going to have any kids for the marines to lead to Hell. Wal-Mart may give you a free Elroy John CD but I promise if you don’t shop there I will give you a free CD of a good Christian American: George Jones. We can’t let Walmart sodomize our youth and the marines hellerize them. Beloved we have to take a stand for marriage between a man and a woman. God didn’t make man and man to be together, he made a man to have a weaker partner a woman. Beloved if two men are married they’d fight constantly over who was supposed to be quiet in the assembly. HE made woman a weaker species to have to depend on and obey her husband. That’s what we believe and what we teach here at the Lizard Lick St. John the Baptist, Full Gospel, Independent, Pentecostal, church of Christ. If we let WaL-Mart have their way, what are you going to do when your son comes home all dressed up in his marine ROTC uniform with his friend Barak all ready to go to the prom, or even worse if they decide to jump over the broomstick?

 

Brethren, be there Friday night and lets pray America back to God and pray your sons back to a weak woman.

Until them, this is your preacher, the Rev. T.J. Jackson, saying be better to your neighbors and you’ll have better neighbors.