LIZARD LICK ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST, FULL GOSPEL,
INDEPENDENT, PENTECOSTAL,
cHURCH OF CHRIST
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
Beloved, this is your preacher, the Rev. T.J. Jackson, with a special announcement concerning tonight’s service. I have had several calls today asking if we would have services due to the inclimate weather that is passing through Lizard Lick. Some of you have said that it is bad all the way down to Hares Crossroads and up to Riley Hill, with Crackers Nub and Shoeheel catching the brunt. Brethren, this is a scheduled meeting tonight and it is a matter of salvation that you all attend. I know you are going to say the weather’s to bad preacher to come out tonight; Well, are you going to tell Jesus that the weather in Hell is to bad on Judgment day? Brothers and sisters we are commanded to not forsake the assembly of the saints. So, the way God sees it ifn you ain’t in the assembly you must not be a saint.
We would also like to ask that all women who have crocheted doilies for the Emblems to sit on please contact me so we can find out when they were made. It has come to my attention that some were actually crocheted on a Sunday. Beloved, don’t you women know that all you are allowed to do on Sunday is come to church and cook? And, yet, some of you have taken up with old Beelzebub and commenced to crocheting on Sunday. Have you ever read in scripture about Mary crocheting on Sunday? Do you think the leader of our movement, Archie Campbell’s mom crocheted on Sunday? Even the Normans and the Jehovah Witnessians don’t do such things. I am surprised that right here in our very flock we have to deal with such sin. The Disciples of Christ don’t even do such and they use multiple cups little shivers of bread and sing with an organ. For that reason, tonight at our service we will have a special anointing service for the crocheting tools of each of the women in our flock.
I know you are saying you were doing the Lord’s work, that you had good intentions, as you sent some you Hell made goods to those less fortunate victims of hurricane Katrina. Is ay the road to Hell is path with good intentions. Some of you even went so far as to buy threads from Wal-Mart. Beloved if we are to be lights of this world we have to do a better job than this.
I expect to see everyone at the service tonight for a special message entitled, “My Wife is Sowing her Way To Hell; Let’s Anoint Her Back To Heaven.” Be here early to get a good seat up front so your wife can be among the first to get her crocheting tools anointed by the hand of God.
Until tonight, this is your preacher, the Rev. T.J. Jackson, reminding yeuns to be better to your neighbors and you’ll have better neighbors.
November 19, 2006 at 4:35 am
One: going to church doesn’t make you a Christian or saint just like going to McDonald’s does’t make you a cheeseburger. Second: Take a look at Isaiah 1:10-20 to open your eyes regarding of going to church out of duty rather than obediantly going because you chose to go.
Exodus 20:8-10, “Remeber the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and doo all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do not work: you, nor your son, not your daughter, not your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates.”
If you were to look into Jewish custom, women prepared the foods ahead of time as to not cook on the Sabbath (to keep in holy before the Lord as to not work). I do not find it in our Bibles that the woman’s job is to be shut up in the kitchen to feed our fat and lazy self. If you want to force women to not “work” on Sunday, then it should be unhypocritical. As in, no work period. Not no work, except to feed the lazy man.