Lizard Lick UPDATE

Lizard Lick St. John the Baptist, Full Gospel, Independent, Pentecostal, church of Christ Update

 

This here is the Reverend T.J. Jackson with this week’s update from the Lizard Lick St. John the Baptist, Full Gospel, Independent, Pentecostal, church of Christ.

 

This year as you all know we sponsored a “Haunted Home” as an alternative to the traditional Halloween festivals in and around Lizard Lick. Among the most popular rooms were The Dressing Room which featured a mom wearing pants, Haircut Room which featured a woman cutting a girls hair with a pair of scissors, Liquor Room which featured a man having a glass of wine with his meal (we substituted the grape juice from last weeks communion so as not to cause him to sin), and the most popular room: TV ROOM which featured a family gathered around the Devil’s box inviting sin into their home through the boob tube. All of our rooms were equally scary and showed families down that well beaten path to Hell.

 

We are happy to be back in our assembly building after renovations after the flood hit. And, we thank Elder John for the use of his home the two weeks we couldn’t get in our building. I know he is glad we are not meeting at his home any more so he can move the cooking stove back into the house.

 

We would like to ask all the men, especially Elders and Deacons, to NOT meet at the spit ‘n whiddle in front of Grover’s supermarket. A lot of the ladies in the town are claiming that the men are trying to create a slick spit there with the hopes of getting some old women to slip down so they grab ‘em to help ‘em up. We don’t want that scandal here at the Lizard Lick St. John the Baptist Full Gospel Independent Pentecostal church of Christ.

 

A big thanks to all who donated to help buy a new communion cup. As you all know sister Gertrude’s dentures fell in the old one and no one wanted to drink from it anymore. Someone even tried to introduce Satan into our assembly by suggesting individual cups. We now have a new cup, so don’t forget your poligrip!

 

We would like for all y’all to add sister Beulah to your prayer list. Her mind is slipping and last week by mistake she put on a candy necklace of her granddaughter’s. And, you all now she comes out of the Baptist tradition, well she fell asleep on the back pew and now she has ant bites all over her neck. Please keep her in your prayers.

 

Until next time this here is the Rev. T.J. Jackson of the Lizard Lick St. John the Baptist, Full Gospel, Independent, Pentecostal, church of Christ reminding yeuns to be better to your neighbors and you’ll have better neighbors.